Monday, October 17, 2011
Guest Post: Be Your Best Mom
Today's Guest Post Comes from Milena from Be Your Best Mom. Thank you so much Milena for such a great post!
For Better or Worse….
In sickness and in health, right? That’s what you vow to on your wedding day, that no matter what you will be together through it all. Well, I’ve learned it’s much harder to actually live it then say it.
When a single friend of mine asked me about marriage I said, “Marriage is hard work.” She then asked me, “Why?” Well, I’ll tell you. Marriage is like a living organism. One limb doesn’t function without the other, you need to be a whole unit working together. It takes some time to achieve that and then maintain that function. Well, what happens when part of that unit fails to function? This can happen in many ways, but today I’m going to focus on the “in sickness” part of the breach.
You don’t see it coming, it’s not something that you can control, but when one partner falls ill it’s as if the entire unit has taken a hit. For the last 2 years it has been one disaster after another at my house. Okay, so maybe I’m being a bit dramatic, but my husband was injured at work and I believe that injury led to the next injury he incurred. We have 2 small children, one with special needs, and my husband is the sole provider for our family. You cannot even begin to imagine the stress. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I began looking for work, caring for my husband and my children. I spent the nights trying to figure out how we were going to pay bills, when I was going to have to pull my child out of preschool because of the tuition, and how would I be able to care for them all. I spent my time in denial and tried to make the best of things. It eventually all worked out for us. My son finished preschool and I didn’t have to find a job, but there was more.
It was the everyday stuff that I needed help with and help was no where to be found. All the driving, the garbage, the lawn, the kids, the bills everything fell on my shoulders. The irritation of everyone saying ,”Oh your poor husband” I wanted to shout, “What about poor me!?” Then it seemed that as soon as we made it through another injury ensued.
Here is what I learned: People can’ t possibly know what you are going through unless you tell them. Ask for help, even for small things. Talk to your partner and let them know how you are feeling. Don’t worry about what other people think, they don’t live in your home. Sometimes you just have to let things go in order to move forward.
My husband and I learned a lot about each other during this time. It has made us a stronger couple. It’s changed the way we communicate with each other and with other people. I wouldn’t call it a blessing, but it was definitely a valuable lesson.