First Guest Post of the New Year comes from Brittany. Brittany is a single mom and full time Certified Nursing Assistant living in South Carolina. She loves the men in her life, her three year old son and 80 year old patient. She blogs over at Changing Diapers and Taking Names about finding herself between toddlers and elders.
I am so grateful that Terri asked me to do a guest post for her! But as I sit here and struggle with what to write about, I keep going back to the conversation I had last night over dinner with a dear friend. She and I were discussing parenting (as I am a mom and she is not) and how she does not feel she has the patience for children yet.
I said to her, “You never will have the patience,” because honestly, you can never be prepared in any way for raising a child; not emotionally, mentally or financially. Am I right? Since my pregnancy started off a little on the unexpected side, I don’t really know for sure if there is ever a moment that you wake up and say, “You know what, I’m ready, let’s do this!” People try to prepare you by saying “your life will change forever!” Well, thank you captain obvious for your valuable input! Truthfully, there is nothing anyone can say to prepare you for parenthood.
Raising a child is different for everyone, every situation is different and every child is different. This is my situation; I am a single mother to a three year old boy. My three year old has the energy of four three year old boys put together. He never stops talking, running or destroying. I am not a patient person (understatement of the year) so parenting an overactive child proves to be quite the dilemma.
I think the best thing anyone could have done for me while I was pregnant is say "Congratulations, you will now feel inexplicably guilty and like a failure consistently for the rest of your life. Good luck!” That way I would not have been so disappointed with my parenting skills from the very beginning. Some may say that I am being overly dramatic (now you know where my son gets it) but I say, show me a mom who does not feel disappointed in her parenting abilities at least once a day and I will gladly listen to what she has to say (and over zealously take notes).
Do not get me wrong, I love being a mom! Having Brody has taught me so much on a variety of subjects. All I’m saying is that no amount “pep talks” or classes could have prepared me for the reality that is parenting. I know there is no such thing as the “perfect” mom, even though most of us strive to be one, but sometimes doing the best I can does not always feel like enough. Am I alone in this? Does anyone else constantly feel inadequate (if no one raises their hands, I know you’re lying)? I think the best thing we can do for ourselves is keep it real. We moms need to stick together. Cut the cookie cutter stuff and be honest about your successes and failures, so maybe we can figure this out together!
Brittany and her son
Thank you Brittany for the great post!